He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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