i just had sex bonerless
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
