To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
