Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
