Texts From Last Night

(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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but then you'd receive a new monthly gift: syphilis.

Submitted by ingebeastly on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

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Dear pretzel guy, fuck you.

Submitted by 110340 on Jul 15, 10 at 2:22pm

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- dont worry, he's with me. these pretzels are making me Firsty!
  
  Submitted by firsty on Jul 15, 10 at 4:18pm
  
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Where the fuck is KeithStone?\nI'd rather him then pretzel and firsty...D:

Submitted by nIKOLEDGAF on Jul 15, 10 at 4:24pm

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imagine how many guys would have sex with you more than once if you didn't say stupid shit like that.

Submitted by bandaid on Jul 15, 10 at 3:03pm

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I guess it depends on your hourly rate?

Submitted by sexyupsguy on Jul 15, 10 at 10:38pm

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It's sad how people actually take the time to make up names like firsty or pretzel just to annoy others. Do you guys have no lifes? Now while ur responding to this text, I'll be out having a life.

Submitted by italianbabie on Jul 15, 10 at 6:17pm

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- lives*\nApparently part of your "having a life" doesn't include learning spelling/grammar skills.
  
  Submitted by ilovethekillers on Jul 16, 10 at 1:15am
  
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Ok its a seinfeld quote : these pretzels are making me thirsty. And u arent even quoting it right so stfu and find a different website to be stupid on.

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 2:53pm

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- it's obviously a play on words.
  
  Submitted by itouchgnomes on Jul 16, 10 at 3:02am
  
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fuck you pretzel! you aren't KeithStone!

Submitted by [][][] on Jul 15, 10 at 2:37pm

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Timing always fucks me over on that...

Submitted by _Emerica_ on Jul 15, 10 at 2:33pm

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imagine how well you could communicate if you would use complete sentences...

Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 15, 10 at 4:25pm

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Probably too many ya dingus!

Submitted by Dingus on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

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You mean if you were pregnant?!

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 2:26pm

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WOW WHORE!!!!!!!

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 15, 10 at 10:06pm

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Oh okay so are "I'mKeithStone," "firsty," or yoda? I'm confused with your stupidity..

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 3:05pm

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Child support?

Submitted by sevenohtree on Jul 15, 10 at 4:19pm

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About 33% more if you have an average cycle.

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 15, 10 at 4:36pm

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In soviet russia monthly gift has you!

Submitted by broncos4life on Jul 17, 10 at 3:31pm

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what's the deal with all the pretzel thing?

Submitted by LSUFratdaddy on Jul 15, 10 at 2:17pm

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About 10% more???

Submitted by hooah33 on Jul 15, 10 at 3:36pm

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I love pretzels in my cooter

Submitted by juicy_cooter on Jul 15, 10 at 2:49pm

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That's just called being a hoe.

Submitted by aaronsgirl27 on Jul 15, 10 at 11:26pm

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303 hilarious hahah

Submitted by noanswr on Jun 20, 11 at 5:53pm

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imaginging how many promotions ide give you cuz im the boss

Submitted by kmomokbs on Jul 15, 10 at 2:52pm

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Who the fuck says monthly gift?

Submitted by janky on Jul 16, 10 at 2:52am

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"lives"

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 6:59pm

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Damn! These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Submitted by cjhoops on Jul 16, 10 at 11:42am

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Pretzels always make me firsty!

Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:15pm

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Pretzel will forever reign ! Banish all you haters he will : )

Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:54pm

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Comments

Submitted by ingebeastly on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

Submitted by 110340 on Jul 15, 10 at 2:22pm

Submitted by firsty on Jul 15, 10 at 4:18pm

Submitted by nIKOLEDGAF on Jul 15, 10 at 4:24pm

Submitted by bandaid on Jul 15, 10 at 3:03pm

Submitted by sexyupsguy on Jul 15, 10 at 10:38pm

Submitted by italianbabie on Jul 15, 10 at 6:17pm

Submitted by ilovethekillers on Jul 16, 10 at 1:15am

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 2:53pm

Submitted by itouchgnomes on Jul 16, 10 at 3:02am

Submitted by [][][] on Jul 15, 10 at 2:37pm

Submitted by _Emerica_ on Jul 15, 10 at 2:33pm

Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 15, 10 at 4:25pm

Submitted by Dingus on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 2:26pm

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 15, 10 at 10:06pm

Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 3:05pm

Submitted by sevenohtree on Jul 15, 10 at 4:19pm

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 15, 10 at 4:36pm

Submitted by broncos4life on Jul 17, 10 at 3:31pm

Submitted by LSUFratdaddy on Jul 15, 10 at 2:17pm

Submitted by hooah33 on Jul 15, 10 at 3:36pm

Submitted by juicy_cooter on Jul 15, 10 at 2:49pm

Submitted by aaronsgirl27 on Jul 15, 10 at 11:26pm

Submitted by noanswr on Jun 20, 11 at 5:53pm

Submitted by kmomokbs on Jul 15, 10 at 2:52pm

Submitted by janky on Jul 16, 10 at 2:52am

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 6:59pm

Submitted by cjhoops on Jul 16, 10 at 11:42am

Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:15pm

Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:54pm

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