Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize