he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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