So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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