Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize