I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
