I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
