So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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