I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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