I'm lost and stupid without you.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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