when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
