i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
