Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
