You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
