Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
