i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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