I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
