The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Mom said you looked used
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize