She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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