Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
