i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
