he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Panties = found
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
