Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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