What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
