I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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