my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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