I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
