You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
