Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
