just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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