Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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