i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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