so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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