Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will be naked everywhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize