who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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