I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize