I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just want nice things and good sex
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
