hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have aggressive nipples.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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