Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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