Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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