There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
