I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
