I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
