There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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