I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
