Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
