Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
