plz talk dirty to me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
