I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
