I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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