i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize