did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
