New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
