If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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