I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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