the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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