we have officially lost it.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
what day is it and did you see me today?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
