they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
