I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize