Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
