Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
