Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
