I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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