Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
