There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
