We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
