The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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