I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
