How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm bleeding and have questions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
