the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
