Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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