at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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