this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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