yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
